December 28, 2018

Okay, where to start. Here, we’ll start here:

[Setting:  immediately after the movie, still in the theater.]

Friend:  “What were those seahorse things but with fins like for walking?”

Me: “Those were sea dragons.”

Friend:  “That’s not a real thing.”

Me:  “They totally are.” [Pulls up picture of a Leafy Sea Dragon on my phone.]

Friend:  “Holy shit they’re real!”

Me:  “THEY’RE REAL IT’S ALL REAL ALL OF IT IS REAL IT’S TOTALLY REAL.” [Jumping around, waving arms wildly.]

Friend:  “And…now we’re seeing what Carrie was like when she was nine.”


So that was basically me through the entire movie. I am Atlantean now. Shut up I am. I want to ride hammerhead sharks and wear a dress made out of jellyfish. I’m a little bit in love with Patrick Wilson’s villain King Orm because SEA ELF HE IS A SEA ELF. It took me eight years to figure out what to do with my hair while scuba diving so it wouldn’t get tangled up in my mask and stuff but I totally did it so I AM READY. (I have to pull it all back in a pony tail and then braid the pony tail and it actually looks pretty cool and I believe this style will make me fit right in in Atlantis. I do feel the movie underestimated how difficult managing long hair underwater really is.)

Is the movie any good?  Honestly, I don’t know. But I had so much gonzo cheesetastic ridiculous fun with the whole thing I don’t even care. SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER:  Aquaman rides an Elder God into the final battle. They are friends now because he is the first person to just talk to it in thousands of years. THIS IS SO AWESOME I CANNOT CONTAIN THE AWESOMENESS OF IT. Also, the Elder God, Karathen, is voiced by Julie Andrews. I KNOW RIGHT?!

DC finally figured out that sometimes making a good superhero movie means embracing the crazy and throwing all that glorious weirdness against the wall to see what happens. Sometimes, it all sticks.


So another thing:  structurally, this isn’t a superhero movie. It’s urban fantasy.  Superhero stories are about a person who gets amazing powers and what they do with those powers and what those powers mean and with great power comes great responsibility and so on and so forth.  Aquaman isn’t about that. It’s about Arthur Curry, who is caught between two worlds, who was raised in the mundane world but has this connection to a supernatural/otherworldly world that calls him to adventure and his unique perspective on both allows him to succeed where someone solely from either world would fail.

It’s urban fantasy, and that’s great.



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