So last night I dreamed up an entire cheesy 80’s action movie. The plot: somehow, a floppy disk containing a bunch of top-secret Soviet plans gets switched out for a disk with video games, so the kids end up with the Soviet plans, and the spies end up with the games. (This is so circa 1985 I’m frankly shocked that no one ever actually did this story. At least I don’t think they did. Anyone?)
The main characters are played by William Shatner as the cynical cop with a heart of gold, and his sidekick is Patrick Stewart playing a Drunken Master-type martial arts character. (I know, right?!) The spies are a trio of deep undercover Soviet agents disguised as yuppies. One of them’s chosen weapon is a circular saw. Protip: circular saw is a terrible weapon. In my dream, he sliced himself more than anyone else, and the effect was more horrifying than comic. I couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be comic. There was a lot of blood.
There was also a French deli that was having chocolate supply issues. This was where the accidental swap with the disks happened.
Unfortunately, I woke up before anything in the plot could resolve. I woke myself up because I was just so surprised that this wasn’t an actual movie. This seems like it should be an actual movie.