Star Lord vs. the Dinosaurs I Mean Jurassic World

June 26, 2015

This is a movie about how GMO’s are bad and how terrible things happen when women neglect the children they’re meant to be looking after.

I finally decided that the filmmakers knew exactly how silly this all was and meant for it to be a comedy when, after the last battle, Chris Pratt’s character and his favorite velociraptor give each other respectful nods across the plaza before the ‘raptor turns and trots off into the jungle.  This is that kind of movie.


**cuddles baby brontosaurus with all possible cuddles**



6 Responses to “Star Lord vs. the Dinosaurs I Mean Jurassic World”

  1. As muddled as the movie’s themes were, at least it didn’t have its head as far up its ass as The Lost World did.

    Totally with you on the dinosaur petting zoo. Still wish Jurassic Park/World were real so I could go visit, even if everything went horribly wrong while I was there. 😀

  2. Tim Schmidt Says:


    Now that you point it out, it seems obvious. They went with a whole lot of silly plot points that had they been serious, they might have done differently. Some of them jarred me out of my suspension of disbelief. I had to stop and say ” Wait a minute, dinosaurs can’t do that!”. Still, I liked the movie a lot.

    Yeah, I’m with you on the dino petting zoo. Sign me up for the triceratops ride.


  3. LupLun Says:

    The film got a lot of guff for its’ breaks from reality, but it gets one thing gloriously right. So there’s this park, see, and it’s full of remade dinosaurs, and it’s awesome, and you totally want to go there. And you do, finally… and it’s a freakin’ tourist trap! Literally the first shot of the park’s public face is a video screen advertising some tacky themed waterslide or something. And there’s bored ride operators, and a mall full of product placement and branded stores and restaurants, and the ride-a-baby-stegosaurus bit. Because you know that’s exactly what would happen in real life- give us an awesome miracle of science, and we instantly bury it in a pile of marketing and kitsch.

  4. As someone who volunteers at his local zoo a lot, I can confirm that product placement and corporate sponsorship is a big thing at zoos as well. The sad truth is that, without such sponsorship, most zoos would be pretty strapped for cash, particularly if they plan on creating new exhibits/attractions.

    In fact, the idea of a theme park/zoo was the main justification Michael Crichton could come up with for cloning dinosaurs, back when he started writing Jurassic Park, when he ran into the question of who would pay for such expensive scientific work.

  5. carriev Says:

    I actually wish the movie had done a little more with the meta aspects of it — criticizing the product placement while the movie is full of product placement, discussing how jaded audiences get and you have to give them more and bigger.

    This is why I’m mostly giving the movie a pass because I think it realizes its level of kitsch. But I wish the storytelling weren’t often so lazy.

  6. Jill Says:

    There is much to criticize, yet, it was fun, the dinos looked real enough to pet, and Starlord riding a motorbike with 4 velociraptors was way awesome. So I’d see it again, because I can go in without thinking about anything but the ride!

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