Movies on Airplanes
April 2, 2012
I’ve had about two weeks of solid adventuring, and it feels like I’ve been gone for much longer than that. I have so many stories to tell and pictures to post, I don’t know where to start, so I’m taking it a little bit easy today. For now, I give you: Movies on Airplanes! These are reviews of movies I watched with really bad sound while drinking too many of those little bottles of wine.
This was the movie I didn’t go see so I could see Pandorum. Pandorum was so totally the right call. Surrogates was…worse than I thought it would be. It is a prime A double plus not good example of how to do science fictional extrapolation really badly. Dear movie: either crime has been abolished because no one leaves their houses, or people indulge in violence for fun because there are no consequences. You can’t have both. 98% of people use surrogate robots? So surrogate robots are cheaper than cell phones, or has the future abolished poverty? Also, in a future where everyone looks Hollywood pretty because they’re robots? That doesn’t look like the future, it looks like every other frakking Hollywood movie there is! Oh, and there was like one scene where the director remembered to say, “Oh yeah, you guys are supposed to be robots so maybe you should walk funny.”
I should stop now.
I loved this so much and think it should have won the best picture Oscar, and a bunch of the other Oscars it was up for. No gimmicks, just a really, really good movie. I can’t decided if it was bad that I saw it on the plane with bad sound, or good, because on the plane I had enough restraint that I only used about five tissues instead of the whole box. Also, I had just read a truly awful short story that didn’t have a real emotional note in the whole thing, and every cliche emotion was described using truly hoary cliches, and it made me want to scream. Then I watched this, with so much raw and real emotion.
The guy next to me on the plane from Frankfurt double-fisted glasses of wine for the first three hours of the flight, to the tune of probably a bottle and a half, until the flight attendants cut him off. We had individual screens, and he started watching the The Descendants about 45 minutes after I did. He was about an hour into it, and I was near the end, when he started poking me and saying, “Have you seen this? It’s so good! It’s so good!” And I smiled at him and said, “Yes, very drunk man, I have seen it, and it is good. Please don’t puke on me.”
And those were the movies I watched on the airplane.