Rise of the Planet of the Apes

August 8, 2011

Or, as it will likely become known in my household from now on:  “Battlefield Ape.”

About halfway through I started wondering what Jane Goodall would think of this movie if she saw it.  Then I began fervently hoping that she never, ever does.

This is the kind of movie where the first act has a couple of characters who are unlikeable and do mean things, and so you know that they’re going to die horribly in the third act.  And they do.  Tick tick tick.  This is a movie very full of its own importance, and yet so simplistic, so un-engaging and predictable, it’s hardly worth speaking of.  Then, driving away from the theater, I realized this has the same basic plot as Battlefield Earth — oppressed natives get smart through magical science thingy and rebel.  I think this is hilarious.

Also, everything bad that happens is directly the James Franco character’s fault.  I couldn’t tell if he was supposed to be sympathetic, but I certainly didn’t sympathize with him.  Because it’s all his fault.  All of it.  Moron.

7 Responses to “Rise of the Planet of the Apes”

  1. sef Says:

    Haven’t seen it, don’t plan on it. Despite Brennan-monster’s claims to the contrary, I just don’t see any way that even a few thousand suddenly-intelligent apes could cause the amount of havoc shown in the trailers.

  2. carriev Says:

    Easy: destroy the laws of physics and animal behavior as we know them. Every material in the world is made of spun sugar and the human beings are all morons. *that’s* how you get that level of destruction.

    Also, there are apparently 10,000 chimps living in San Francisco…

  3. Sean Eric Fagan Says:

    Go see Crazy, Stupid, Love. At least the plot contrivances in it result in intentional comedy.

  4. Jakk Says:

    It just looked bad, but the CGI looked good, and also does not follow the outline of the original movies. Glad i waited to see it.


  5. Oddly enough, my aunt actually works with Jane Goodall. If you pick up any of Jane’s recent books (Harvest for Hope, Hope for Animals and Their World, etc.), you’ll notice one of the co-author’s names is Gail Hudson — that’s my aunt. 😀

    Yeah, the science in the movie may have been shoddy and the human characters uninteresting (plus Freida Pinto was criminally underused), but then I was hardly there to root for the humans. I was there for the apes, and they exceeded my expectations.

  6. David Bowles Says:

    I was curious how chimps can take on say the national guard or the cops or the army? There aren’t enough primates on the planet to seize a single major Chinese city I think. The nuclear war scenario was much, much better.

  7. David K Says:

    Okay so James Franco is insufferable, big deal. The best part of this movie was the total beat-down laid on SFPD and CHP! Opening a can of whoop-arse on two different agencies among Cali’s “finest” was heroic entertainment. Then again I cheered out-loud when King Kong swatted all the USN F-4B’s (?) like so many house-flies.


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